Hi 2011

I know.  I know.  It's been awhile.  I have no excuse.  I've been finishing up 2010.  I was not chosen for The Next Food Network Star and I have to admit, I'm not terribly disappointed.  While it would have been the opportunity of a lifetime, I would have had to push back graduation, leave my friends and my dog and quit life for awhile.  I don't want that.  So here's an audition picture.

I tried out an made the student culinary competition team.  What I was expecting versus what it actually was were completely different.  I was expecting a room full of eager beavers like myself all gunning for the number one, or one of the five spots.  I showed up at 8 a.m. ready to go.  After spending a few minutes with everyone going around saying our "Hi, my name is" speeches I learned I was the highest level student trying out.  Out of all seven of us.  Not entirely what I expected, but what could I do?  The chef announced a follow up meeting.  From then, five people would be chosen.  Guess how many people showed up.  Automatically made the team.  Again, not ideal but I'll take it.  Fast forward a few weeks and team positions were made.  I was the alternate and it felt like shit.  I was assured this was a super important position which needed a very organized person... me.  Fast forward a few more weeks.  Some days people didn't show.  Some days people were late.  Chef was mad and understandably so.  I wasn't psyched to wake up at 5 a.m. but you have to do what you have to do.  Someone got kicked off the team and I was moved to the pastry position.  Me.  Pastry?  

I bake on occasion but once upon a time I was know for only making desserts that tasted good but looked like garbage.  So the pastry chef is in to teach me how to do this stuff.  Stuff being chocolate & pear bread pudding with poached pears, creme anglaise sauce, and pear pistachio ice cream.  Things I did wrong included the following: burning the bread, overcooking the eggs until scrambled for the creme anglaise and improperly melting chocolate to put into molds.  The only thing I did consistently well was poaching the pears.  Maybe because it had to do with wine?  As soon as I got used to the dish, performed it well a few times, a new pastry girl comes in and takes the spot.  Now I'm on the salad dish.

  We were warned that if anyone was late again there would be no more team. Alright, so now we're about five weeks from competition and two of us are learning a new dish.  Lucky for me it was culinary and pretty straight forward so I caught on kinda of quickly.  I performed the dish well both times. On the way to the following practice, I hit a nail and got a flat tire. Awesome.  I arrive at practice to find out there is no team, not due to my flat but because someone decided they weren't coming to practice.  So not only was I up at 5 and consistently on time, I got a flat tire and would have to sit at the mechanic (and buy a $200 tire because it couldn't be fixed), and now, no more team.  Nothing to put on my resume.  But at least I have skills.  And another picture. 

Big news fail

So my big news was supposed to be that two of my teachers suggested me to be a chef's assistant for Sheryl Crow's tour chef for her concert in Upper Darby.  Nothing was final and I was waiting every second for an email or phone call saying I was chosen.  I just got a call from my mother saying she heard the show was cancelled. I took to Google and found she was right, as per the usual.  Sheryl cancelled her show due to acute laryngitis. 

Hopefully another time. Frown.

Feel better Sheryl.

if it makes you happy.

i'll hopefully have some huge news.  thats a big hopefully.  until then, keep your fingers crossed for me!

Have we met?

I just figured out how to check my stats on here and I'm surprised.  So to all of those anonymous readers out there, (especially those in London and Alaska... wow) thanks. Not sure if we have met but feel free to say hi.  I hope you enjoy it and the fact that someone, anyone out there, is reading makes me want to continue to write. So thanks again.

Last week was our last official skills week of class.  Tapas for H&A and cake decorating for Baking.  All and all, a success.  I made a roasted red pepper hummus for the first time and it turned out wonderfully. I was surprised at how simple it was to make. It is so easy to think that different foods are difficult to make since they are unfamiliar, but in the end you need to realize that it's just food.  (If any after-school programs are looking for a life lesson writer, let me know.) So yes, hummus.  I also made some asparagus crostinis with tomato fresca. I was a bit disappointed with my presentation (check out the far right of the picture on the left,) however this was my secondary dish that I made because I was bored with just one dish. At least it tasted good.

Cake decorating in Baking class was an actual nightmare.  I haven't been a fan practically all quarter but this task stressed me out like no other.  We assembled a tri-layer strawberry shortcake and I felt so out of my element.  I like to think I am pretty comfortable in the kitchen and treat it a bit like my safety zone.  Well, not that night. I panicked with almost every step. Slicing the layers, remembering to coat the layers with simple syrup, lining the layers correctly when topping, etc. etc.  Non-stop stress. Once all assembled we were able to decorate which was actually quite fun. We used the techniques we learned in weeks past to make pretty rosettes which would be topped with strawberries.  I eventually brought home this (pictured below) and it was sooooo good.

One more test until break.  I'm still keeping super busy.  I'm brainstorming ideas to start working on my casting video. A good friend of mine is using his generous photography skills to help me make business cards.  I'm in my first wedding and planning the shower under some serious time constraints and yes, I'll be preparing most of the food which I am really excited about. I'm going out and becoming more social because, why not. I am participating in and rallying up some of my awesome friends for the International Coastal Cleanup (it's not too late to sign up... click the link!) to do some good.  I'm also looking to get involved with another volunteer group promoting shark conservation.  If you know me you know this is a little obsession of mine.  I'm (hoping not to jinx anything) trying out for my school's competitive culinary team. I'm trying to welcome fall while mourning my summer clothes and dusting off the ol' North Face body suit parka that keeps this sunny girl warm and "happy." I'm sure there is plenty more that I am forgetting and before I know it, fall quarter will be here and gone.  Then graduation. Then...who knows?  I have lots of ambitious ideas and some are pretty tangible.  Not sure where they will take me but the world is my oyster.

Happy Labor Day

Like I said.

So I didn't end up going to the casting call. I figured with my nerves I'd be better off sending in a video.  That way, I could give a better idea of who I am as opposed to being all bitter for standing in line for hours (which I did enough of this weekend, thanks Flugtag) and give a poor 30 second interview.  And let's be honest... I couldn't choose two photos I felt best represented myself.  So my video will be made and hopefully will get me to the top.  I'll post it on here when I'm finished.

School is coming to an end for the quarter and I'll be happy to have some time off.  Charcuterie and Intro to Pastry are scheduled for the fall quarter.  Currently I am working on my final project which will somewhat act as a stepping stone to the business I hope to start.  We have to build a catering company more or less.  From menu design to demographics, the only thing not covered is pricing and the address of my kitchen. I'm pretty happy with what I have so far. My 4 course, 3 option table d'hote menu is all based on Italian cuisine with the menu written in Italian to boot.  (Ciao tutti.)  Last week we made eclairs and puff pastries and I got to enjoy this guy to the lower right: chocolate mousse eclair with raspberries and shaved white chocolate. The last two weeks of Baking class we will be doing cake production and decorating.

I'm trying to enjoy the time I have left in school since it is flying by.  I've made some friends and met a lot of mentors.  My roommate told me to enjoy it when I started in January because it flies by.  She was right.  I need to keep my head on straight and focus on the positive and keep moving forward.  Good things are to come.

Things may get interesting and it could involve Bobby Flay.

So a friend sent me an email today with the subject "casting call." Knowing me and my friends this could have been for anything; a role in a zombie movie (they were only casting for victims. No thanks.) or in this case, for The Next Food Network Star. It seems like more and more, I should start believing in signs. As cheesy as it sounds, they keep coming.  First the restaurant decision and now this email.

Last night I laid in bed, not sleeping, tossing and turning and thinking about my possible catering business and how I am terrified of what is going to happen. While I love being busy I don't think I want the life of a restaurant chef. And so I lay and freak out about what do I want?  Do I want to work for someone else or do I want to call the shots?  Do I want to just take the first job that comes my way because it's a job and money or do I want to hold out for what will make me happy?  Isn't that why/how I got into this anyways?  I decided to take this culinary route because it is something that makes me happy.  I will pick cutting fat off of chicken thighs any day over trying to figure out a balance sheet. So this email comes along as soon as I'm wondering what I should be doing and where I should go next.  And let's admit it...  I could never pass by a mirror without looking so why not TV?  Seems like a good fit.  Maybe we will meet again Mr. Flay... maybe.

Change.

So as I mentioned in the post I lied about (sorry for never updating) lots of things are changing.  I went to Costa Rica and it was amazing.  A kind of place I could see living in.  It's interesting to go somewhere so different from what you see every day. We came home and purged our rooms of junk we've been hoarding.  So much "stuff."

Back to work at the restaurant and another week until school started and back to the grind. Same routine every day.  Same exhaustion.  Same stress.  Starting to catch up.  I chalked it up to post-vacation depression.

School started again: intro to baking and hors d'oeuvres and appetizers.  H&A was pretty much my job at the restaurant in class form so I was excited and knew it would be fairly easy.  Baking on the other hand is very much hurry up and wait... and I can't stand it.  I love sweet treats as much as the next person but I feel like baking is another world and it's not for me.  It feels boring to me.  Sorry if I am offending any bakers out there reading this but it's just my opinion. There's just something more exciting about adding this and that and fire and speed and seeing how it turns out.  Baking is more of a science and I've never been a science and math kind of girl.  On the bright side, I bring home lots of pies.  On the downside, I bring home lots of pies.

Work at the restaurant was going well.  I was getting better, faster at my tasks and prep work.  I've been going back and forth with the idea of leaving for a number of reasons: more time to spend with the family and friends I've been neglecting, more time to recover from the car accident I was in, more time to focus on school, more time in general.  The restaurant consumed practically every hour of every weekend and I knew it would be that way and I'm not complaining.  I chose this.  I felt as though it would be forever before I moved up since I'm only there twice a week and should come back when I could give 100%, so to speak.  After hours of sleepless nights, internal dialogue, lists and a talk with an instructor I decided to "suck it up" and stick with it.  I vowed that weekend that I was going to be better every day.  This was a great opportunity and I was going to be better.  Sunday rolled around and I was let go by the head sous chef since my availability is lacking.  Not to get all new-age, higher power-y but I guess this was the universe's way of letting me know I made the wrong decision.  I was told they needed people to be there and learn the stations and two days a week wasn't working for them.  He made it clear that in no way it was due to my performance so that softened the blow.  I worked the rest of the night and choked back the tears as I said goodbye and left my first job.

While I am enjoying this wonderful span of days called the weekend, I am torn. I enjoyed being in the kitchen.  I enjoy hanging out with friends and relaxing. I know it's probably for the best but it still sucks. Now I am planning and plotting some things of my own and we'll see how it goes.  Here's to signs.